"I am not killing you," Sirius replies, his words a panicked rush as he holds Kieren's face close to his own. "Don't you-- I can't, you hear me? I don't care how long I have to look or whom I need to ask, we'll find something."

It's selfish, he knows. Everything about his relationship with Kieren feels so terribly selfish. But he simply doesn't have it in him. James and Lily were enough and he hadn't even done it with his own hands; there isn't any way he could do it to Kieren. No matter how much he might beg, Sirius can't do it. He knows he can't.

His thumbs smooths across Kieren's cheek again, smearing a streak of blackish blood. "Please don't. Please, please don't ask me to kill another person I love."