roartonrisen | (no subject)

He and Magnus had tested it out a bit on one another first, Magnus teaching Sirius how to adjust the spell here and there to account for fluctuations in stimulus and response. As promised, it's not a particularly difficult spell, especially under Magnus's tutelage and Sirius finds himself more and more optimistic of its success by the minute.

When Kieren arrives, they test it further, adjusting once more for Kieren's personal responses to Magnus placing a hand on Sirius's shoulder or Sirius tasting a bite of toast.

And it works. Astoundingly, it works, Sirius marveling a bit from even so small of actions.

Once Magnus has left, however, Sirius feels a sudden and swift clench of nerves. Kieren stands in his front room, his grin enough to make Sirius relax just a little as he steps closer.

"I suppose any way we'd like," he says. "Start small, perhaps? Want me to make some tea? How do you like it?"

It strikes him when Sirius asks that he's going to taste tea for the first time in years. The unexpected shock of such a moment takes him aback and he has to blink back tears, a touch, as overwhelmed as he is. He licks his lips and stares at Sirius, hopeful as anything. "Lemon and honey," he says. "Just a splash, though. You don't mind that, right?" he asks warily.

"Not at all," Sirius replies, not missing the slight wetness to Kieren's eyes.

He's tempted to reach out already, to brush a finger along the back of Kieren's hand or nudge the small of his back. But he refrains for now, forcing himself to start slow as promised.

Filling the kettle with hot water, he adds. "We should've made a list before tonight of all the things you've been longing to taste. We could've stocked up and really made an event of it. Feel free to poke about though, see if I have anything that appeals."

Kieren clears his throat, trying to get his emotions about him so he doesn't look a complete mess by the time Sirius gets back. He ducks his head to the side and stares down at the ground, only looking up once he feels steady. "I think we were both so occupied making sure this would even work," he confesses with a wry smile. "I didn't really think past 'don't go rabid' to consider what food I might want to taste again."

"Well, that does seem an important desire," he remarks, turning to rest back against the counter to watch Kieren carefully as the water heats.

He nods at Kieren then, silently beckoning him closer, but not yet reaching out. "Do you want to try something else while we wait?" he asks. "Another food or drink maybe. Or smell. I've a candle or two in the other room."

"No, no, it's okay," Kieren promises, stepping forward as he wrings his hands, taking hold of the chair in order to give himself a bit of balance as he tries to calm his mind. "I mean, how does all of this work? When do I start feeling it? Will I have to coax it? I mean, if it's all prepped and ready to go, maybe we should start with kissing?"

"Just a bit," he says, even if he's so very nervous about his first real kiss.

"It's working now," Sirius says, pushing himself away from the counter to approach Kieren. In two steps he's right before him and he holds his hands out, quiet and non-threatening. "You only need to open to it, expect it."

It's clear Kieren is nervous and Sirius can't fault him in the slightest. Particularly not after the last time. Gently, he rests a hand on Kieren's forearm, fingers curling over the fabric there. "Can you feel this?" he asks, swiping his thumb over the cotton in a slow, steady rhythm. "Can you feel what I do? Close your eyes maybe, that could help."

Kieren does as Sirius says. Closing his eyes, the whole world sort of goes into a hush, but when he focuses on certain things, he can feel them. At the tips of his fingers, he feels fabric. He can sort of feel the temperature in the room. If he focuses hard enough, he can even taste something in the air, like the general bit of the room and he can smell it too.

"So far, so good," he reports, eagerly. "Maybe let's try a little more?"

Gaze still intent on Kieren's face, Sirius gives a quick, sure nod and slides his hand further down the length of Kieren's forearm until his fingertips reach skin, grazing lightly over the heel of Kieren's hand. He lifts his other hand to rest on Kieren's shoulder, squeezing gently to feel the the bone and muscle beneath his grip as he steps in just slightly closer.

"If it's ever too much, tell me," he says, his hand on Kieren's shoulder, slipping higher to graze the skin just above his collar. "We can still adjust as needed. Or stop entirely, of course."

Kieren actually feels like he's shivering. It's not that he feels like he's being touched, but it's skin on skin and he hasn't felt that in years. "No," he gets out, breathless and amazed, his eyes widening for the touch to his shoulder. "No, I want to keep going," he insists, his fingertips feeling like they're tingling, like they're touching it. "Can I feel what you're feeling everywhere? Your heartbeat. Your arousal?" he asks.

"Should I touch you, Sirius?"

Kieren's voice is hushed, little more than air at first, his eyes wide. Sirius would like to imagine he can detect a flush to those pale cheeks though he knows that impossible.

He listens though, sliding his hand higher to the nape of Kieren's neck, enjoying the soft prickle of short hair there, his breath catching faintly at Kieren's words. Swallowing, he nods, and then lifts Kieren's other hand up to his chest, pressing his palm flat against the steady thump-thump-thump beneath his own billowy shirt.

His arousal is indeed making itself more apparent by the second and he steps in just that little bit closer. "Tell me what you feel," he says, words little more than a whisper. "Please."

"I think maybe this needs to go the other way around," he says, but his voice is starting to climb in octave, growing tighter because he is starting to feel a slow, warm build unlike anything he's felt in so very long. He reaches up and pries Sirius' hand off, because in order for him to feel his neck being cupped, he has to do it.

So he does, mirroring it and sucking in a sharp burst of air for the warmth of the feeling at the back of his neck. "I can feel how much you want this. I can feel how much you want me."

Kieren carefully pulls Sirius's hand away before curling his own around Sirius's. He steps in closer, mindlessly pulled in, his hand instead falling to Kieren's hip. They're nearly nose to nose now and Sirius wonders if Kieren can feel his own cool breath against Sirius lips, the press of his forehead.

Slowly, he drags Kieren's other hand further down his chest, arching a little so he can feel the path of Kieren's fingers and palm down the length of his stomach, hoping Kieren can feel it too, how the desire pumps hotter all through him, cock hardening in his trousers with every passing second.

"I want you naked," he admits, knowing full-well the idea still makes Kieren uncomfortable. "I want to feel you everywhere, just like this. So can know, truly know just how much you make me ache."

Everything is so overwhelming and he's having trouble picking one thing to focus on. His brain is rattling around and taking in as much as he can, but the trouble is that he has so many wonderful things that he wants to focus on. So right now, he focuses on that pump of desire, the way he looks down to see if he should be worried about tenting trousers before he remembers that it's not him.

"Yeah," he gets out, strangled by his desire. "Yeah, I'm good for that."

If not for the strain in Kieren's voice, Sirius might mistake the statement for utterly casual. As it is, he can only laugh, his own breath caught high in his throat as he pushes Kieren's shirt up slightly with one hand, just far enough to get his hand on bare, cool skin. The other he leaves loosely wrapped around Kieren's wrist, not yet guiding him any lower, letting Kieren make that decision if he so chooses.

He does step closer, however, their noses nearly touching. "And I'd like to kiss you," he says, a warning, though he doesn't wait for Kieren to give permission before closing the space between them, tipping into the brush of lips on lips, closing his eyes and desperately hoping he can feel what Sirius feels, that isn't strange or uncomfortable, that it's nothing but this pure, blinding want.

Kieren lets out a sudden needy moan, the throatiness surprising even himself given how little he's expected to feel like that. Breathless, he tangles his fingers in Sirius' hair and gives a little pull, even more amazed when he feels that himself. He yanks on Sirius to pull him towards the bedroom, stumbling as they go because he can hardly keep control of his own two feet as the arousal starts to overwhelm him.

"Sirius, oh my god," he breathlessly murmurs, like praise.

It's obvious Kieren is feeling something given the sound he makes and the way his fingers quickly tangle in Sirius's hair before grabbing at him and dragging him toward the bedroom. Sirius manages to have enough presence of mind to magic the stove off before he's tripping through the door into his room, pulling Kieren in with him.

He breaks away only long enough to strip his shirt off before his hands are immediately at the bottom hem of Kieren's sweater, pushing it upward, hands sliding over smooth cool skin.

"You can feel it, can't you?" he murmurs, voice rough as he pulls Kieren into another kiss. "How badly I want you. D'you have any idea what all I've thought of."

"N-no, wait," he gets out strangled, trying to keep his shirt on. He bends down to pick Sirius' back up, too, because he's got this idea in his mind, but he wants to follow it through. "If I get to feel it, it's happening to you, which means I want to do it at the same time, like I can trick myself into thinking it's really me," he says.

"I want to do this right," he says, firmly. He can be stubborn, this he knows, but he figures he's only got one chance to feel this for the first time. "You can tell me about those thoughts while you redress," he jokes.

Kieren's resistance is like a splash of cold, though it lasts only a second, Sirius's frown easily relaxing as Kieren shoves Sirius's shirt back into his hands. It's strangely heady, actually, the idea that Kieren has a plan and he grins easily again as he ducks back into his shirt, tugging the fabric down over his chest before stepping in close once more.

"To be honest, they all essentially boil down to desperately wanting to get you under me," he says, his time just barely managing to keep his hands to himself, though his lips hover just a breath above Kieren's. "Or over," he adds with an easy shrug. "Not too fussed about position, really. Do you think I could feel inside you?"

Kieren reaches over for the hem of Sirius' shirt, holding there for a moment. "Okay," he says. "Okay, so this time, you take my shirt off the same time as I take off yours," he insists. "So it'll feel like it's actually coming off me," he says, but he falters when Sirius says words like 'inside you'. "I mean, you could fuck me. And it'd feel as if I were fucking myself, I suppose."

"Which is...not a sentence I ever thought I'd say. Shirt off, now," he demands.

"Okay," Sirius says, smoothing his hands down the front of Kieren's shirt. He isn't quite sure how it'll work with their arms possibly getting tangled, but he's willing to try. He wants to try. He moves slowly so Kieren can mirror him, fingertips slipping just beneath the hem as he lets out a quiet laugh.

"That does sound a bit strange," he agrees, though he can't deny the burn still under his skin. "Maybe we can work up to that. Or," he adds, the thought suddenly occurring to him as he leans into Kieren's touch, "I could feel inside myself a bit. I've not really done it before, but... but I could."

Kieren lets out an embarrassed laugh, so overwhelmed by the ridiculity of this, but willing to go with it, because he's practically trembling with need. "Maybe you could tell me what you have done," he suggests as he starts to take off Sirius' shirt, shivering as he feels it.

When his own goes, he stares, for a long moment, at the scars on his arms, slightly ashamed.

"Afraid that's not going to be the longest conversation," he says, pushing Kieren's shirt up higher, trying to match Kieren's work on his own, inhaling as he presses against Kieren's hands.

He ducks out of his own shirt only after Kieren's is also on the ground and he steps in closer, reaching to tip Kieren's face up to his own and away from his scars. "I've mostly been with women," he says, by way of distraction rather than revelation. After all, Kieren knows most of this already. "Though I did some things with my mates back at school. Mutual wanking, thank sort of thing. And then... then men in pubs and alleys. I've sucked cock before. Many times. Is this the kind of thing you want to hear?"

"Yeah," Kieren says, his fingers greedy as they touch Sirius in all the places he can find. "What if I were to do that? What if I were to get down on my knees and do that, but for you. And then I'll be able to feel it too. I've never had that done for me before," he says. "Doubt I'll be much good," he jokes. "First timer and all."

"Fuck," Sirius breathes, heat rushing straight down his spine at even so simple an offer. He wonders if Kieren can feel that too, that reaction, or if the way Sirius's dick jerks in his trousers is enough.

A bit light-headed, he sways forward, grateful for Kieren stood before him so he doesn't fall to his knees himself. He leans in close enough to press forehead to forehead and lets out a shaky breath with a nod. "I'd-- Well, to say I'd like that feels a bit of an understatement. D'you want to? Merlin, what I wouldn't give to make you come, but if this the closest we'll get, I'll take it."