"Yes, well I don't just lift my tail for anyone, now do I?" he remarks, grinning wider now as he rolls slightly, pulling Kieren half atop him. "And I come home because I know what's good for me. Why wander about when I've got a nice roof over my head, steady food on the table, and one beautiful-if-slightly slutty cat.

"And a gorgeous boyfriend, of course," he adds with a wink. "But doesn't that go without saying?"