roartonrisen | (no subject)

(no subject)

Something's missing.

Kieren can't put his finger on what's going on, but he has the strange, sneaking suspicion that something is happening. He shakes his head and goes back to his sketching, dabbing his fingers slowly with his thumb and frowning when he sees the strange black liquid coming out of his nose. He shakes his head and ignores it, going back to sketching Sirius without any of his clothes.

He smiles, faintly, as his thoughts turn to his boyfriend, still getting used to that thought. And more than that, the faint delighted prickle doesn't even feel imagined.

Maybe he'll call Sirius soon and invite him over for something, like a movie. There, again, is that feeling, like he's missed something big.

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"We could send it to a shop and get it printed, yeah," Kieren agrees, finding Sirius' lack of tech-knowledge endearing, even though it's not like he's in the modern world entirely himself. After all, they'd only had the one computer in the house and it hadn't exactly been cutting edge, but he knows how to wield a camera.

"We'll make a dozen," he vows.

"And paper the town with them?" he asks, delighted as he settles back into the sofa again, drawing Kieren with him. It's comfortable, he notes. Comfortable in a way he's not sure he's ever experienced with anyone before and he reaches his other hand across to touch Kieren's pale, gorgeous, gangly thigh. "We'll make everyone jealous, you know. And possibly annoyed, though I do so love doing that."

"I never wanted to be that smug couple that tried to make everyone else jealous," Kieren protests with a delighted laugh, but he shakes his head as he wonders if that's sort of what's going to happen, though. "You're beautiful, though," he says, sincerely. "More beautiful than just about everyone I'd ever known in Roarton."

"With the possible exception of your Rick," Sirius remarks with a small smile. Sirius has been praised for his looks all his life; he's aware many find him attractive. Somehow, though, all those opinions mean very little compared to Kieren's. He remembers well their first date when Kieren had remarked on Sirius's good looks being up for debate and how it had stung just a little.

Apparently, it's only taken some time to win him over.

"Must say, I'm a bit worried he might show up here some day," he admits, staring down at his hand on Kieren's thigh. "I'd lose you in a heart beat. So to speak."

"You don't have anything to worry about," Kieren says. When he speaks it, he knows it's the truth. He's spent long nights awake thinking of what would happen if suddenly Rick turned up here out of the blue. "I said goodbye to Rick three times over now," he admits. "My heart can't take another crack from him. I'd want to be his friend, of course, but I wouldn't leave you."

"Not for Rick, not for Simon."

Even if there's no way of telling what might truly happen if either Simon or Rick were to show up, Sirius can't deny that Kieren's words soothe him. It's perhaps even more selfish than every physical aspect of their relationship, wanting Kieren to choose him over the men he loved first, but he can't seem to help it.

And that realization is a bit terrifying all on its own.

He leans in then, brushing his lips to the corner of Kieren's mouth. "If I ever met either of them, I can't promise I won't curse them on sight," he says, his voice a low tease. "Only a little though. Probably."

"Please don't curse either of them. They've both had harder lives than me and I'd really hate to be the cause of more hardship, even if it's because of jealousy," he pleads, leaning forward to kiss Sirius when he dares to be so close to him. "Also, what kind of curses are you talking about? Not just profanity, is it?"

"Oh, nothing fatal," Sirius assures him, lips twisting into a slight smirk at the idea. Kieren's kiss lingers on his lips and he shrugs. "Just possibly a pox or two, make them trip over their own feet for awhile or make them all embarrassingly tongue-tied. That sorta thing."

It's childish, he knows. Remus would tell him so right from the start, but Sirius can't help but entertain the notion all the same. What good is there in being a wizard without the opportunity to be a little stupid sometimes?

"They've both had their own occasions of embarrassing tongue-tied messes," Kieren promises, because there were times when Simon and Rick had said the wrong thing or nothing at all. "What about making their tongues bright blue or something?" he suggests. "Or their hair neon green."

"Oh, that'd be easy as anything," Sirius grins, dropping his hand into Kieren's and entwining their fingers. "Could make both any color you could think of, in fact. Maybe Rick would be better off with rainbow hair, come to think of it. Bet that'd suit him."

"He'd be furious," Kieren says knowingly, seeing as Rick had spent his whole life denying that he could be anything other than Bill Macy's straight, perfect, obedient boy. Even at the end, Kieren's not sure if Rick ever really loved him back that way.

Still got him killed, though.

Kieren shifts, though, giving Sirius a wary look. "Could you change my eyes? To a normal brown?"

Sirius blinks, strangely surprised by the question. "Oh, I hadn't thought to," he admits, his smile faltering just a bit into a frown. "I could, yeah. It wouldn't be permanent; the spell wears off after a time. Do you want me to?"

It's not the first time Kieren's mentioned the true color of his eyes and, for a moment, Sirius regrets not having thought of it first. Suggesting it. But the truth is, as odd as Kieren's eyes had seemed at the start, he's well used to them now. If anything, he has a hard time imagining them any other way than exactly as they are.

He nods, a touch shyly. It's not that he's ashamed of himself anymore, but the idea of looking like himself without the work of his contacts and cover up is tempting. "If nothing else, I could be saving money on cover up if you do this well."

Kieren looks a bit uncertain for a moment, but his nod is unmistakable.

Letting to of Kieren's hand, Sirius leans over to pick his trousers up off the floor, fishing his wand out of the back pocket. "Is just your eyes you want changed?" he asks, turning back to Kieren. "Or your skin, too? I can make it look a bit more... tanned."

"Maybe the skin, too?" he suggests. "How long d'you think you could maintain it before it goes away?" he wonders curiously, because he's starting to think about ditching the cover up (it feels all gummy after just a few minutes).

"Few hours, I think," Sirius says, still watching Kieren almost warily. He's only ever used this spell a couple of times as a true disguise. Ordinarily, it's intended as a means to have a bit of a laugh, not for actual realism. "How brown do you want your eyes to be? And should I try to match the shade of your mousse for your skin?"

He wishes he had a picture from home, but he trusts Sirius to do whatever he needs to in order to make it look right. "You just do right by me. Make me look human," he says, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. "I trust you."

There's so much in those three little words and Sirius feels a coil of anxiety wind tight in his belly. The last people to trust him ended up dead. Kieren's already dead in some ways, but that doesn't mean Sirius can't still fuck this up. It doesn't mean that at all.

He pulls in a deep breath and then mutters a quick spell as he gives a flick of his wrist. Instantly, Kieren's skin turns from ashy pale to a color much closer to Sirius's own and the white irises of his eyes turn a rich brown. "Alright," he says, lowering his hand, his heart beating strangely fast. "Have a look then."

Kieren's a touch nervous, he can't lie. He's avoided mirrors for so long because of what they might show him and it seems strange to be thinking of this in reverse -- being nervous of what he might see. He rises and heads for the mirror, lifting his gaze and staring at himself as he was before.

His breath catches and he reaches out as if he can touch his humanity, bewitched by the sight. "It's perfect." It looks real, not the awful fakeness of the makeup and contacts.

Kieren pushes up off the couch and Sirius stays where he is a moment, watching, before slowly getting to his feet himself, wand still in one hand in case Kieren doesn't like what he sees and needs the spell reversed. He steps up behind Kieren, staring at his reflection, at the look on Kieren's face.

He doesn't look disappointed, at least. Or terribly scared. Slowly, Sirius smiles and rests his hands on Kieren's sides. "Yeah? So is this what you looked like before then? Or close to it?"

"Very close," he says, barely doing more than exhaling the words. He thinks his hair had been a little more colourful because it hadn't been dead, but for the most part, he feels like he's looking at himself before. He covers up one of the black cuts on his wrist with his palm, hides the wound in his stomach from his rabid attack.

And just like that, he looks human. "This is incredible," he praises.

Sirius's smile softens as he stares at the wonder on Kieren's face and turns his head just enough to brush his lips to the curve of his jaw. "Still beautiful," he murmurs, smoothing his hands higher up Kieren's sides and then around, pulling him close.

Kieren's skin is still as cold as ever, he hasn't a spell to make his blood suddenly start flowing, but anything that makes Kieren smile like that is good enough. "I can do it whenever you'd like. Every day, even. Or just for special occasions. Whichever."

"I think whenever I need it, I'll come to you instead of the makeup. The contacts always make my eyes itch, even if I shouldn't be able to feel it," he admits, staring at himself with all the awe and wonder due in this situation. "You're so powerful."

Kieren's still drinking in the sight of his own reflection and Sirius can't say he blames him. As attractive as he finds Kieren just as he is with his light, light eyes and pale skin, he can admit there's something startlingly nice about this one as well. Perhaps it's the healthy hue of his skin, the life in his eyes.

"Whenever you'd like," Sirius promises again, his smile widening at the awe in Kieren's tone. "Well, I am a wizard," he reminds him, tightening his hold around Kieren's middle. "And, believe it or not, I did very very well in school. My family may not be good for much, but it seems I inherited some skill, at the very least."

He sinks back into the hold and takes delight in the vision he gets in the mirror of him and Sirius, plastered together like an attractive normal-looking couple, if you could just ignore the scars on Kieren's arms. "This is nice," is what he says quietly. "Being normal, for once."